Welcome to Aja's online blog - an ongoing
expression of what is arising in Aja's consciousness... random writings, musings, and more on the
nature of consciousness, awakening, reality, non-reality, stupidity....
Each entry is chronologically dated with the
most recent first and older stuff later. Feel free to start wherever you want. If you have questions or comments, you can
email them to email@example.com
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Monday September 19, 2005
Why Are You Reading This?
answer to that question, for probably 99% of you, is that you want things to be
different; you assume that you are not enlightened and that you want to be
enlightened; that you are bound and want to be free? Always dualities!
whole idea of 'This Moment' is that there is nothing wrong right now. The key
word is acceptance. Let me quote a few old friends:
Ramana Maharshi says - The only thing standing in the way of enlightenment is
the thought, 'I am not enlightened.'
Nisargadatta Maharaj says - The problem is you want what you don't have and
don't want what you do have. All you need to do is switch that around and want
what you do have and don't want what you don't have.
Ashtavakra Samita says - If you consider yourself free, you're free; and if you
consider yourself bound, you're bound. The saying, 'As you consider, so you
become,' is true in this world.
what is wrong with this moment, and with you as you are? If you ask yourself
this question, probably a whole mess of answers will arise that tell you what is
wrong with you. But these answers, these 'wrongnesses' are only in the mind;
they are only thoughts. If the thoughts were not there, not given any credence,
not believed, then guess what - nothing would be wrong. So then, the mind asks,
'How do I stop or still the mind, or these thoughts?'
Answer: You don't have to. They also are simply arising in the sphere of
awareness. What do you do about the clouds passing by? What do you do about that
little twinge of pain in your big toe? What do you do when any insignificant
event occurs? Nothing. You recognize it, or witness it, or notice it, and
everything continues. That's it.
then you say, 'Well, what about the big stuff?' What big stuff? It's
like that book title, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff & It's All Small Stuff."
What do you do when you have to take a pee? You go take a pee. What do you do
when you are hungry? You go eat. What do you do if you're dying of some horrible
disease? You go to a doctor, and/or you die. What do you do about the starving
children in (place city/country here)? You give money, you fly there, you join a
group, or do nothing. Whatever seems to be the proper answer for you. A million
things arise - some of them appear 'good' and some appear 'bad.' But that's a
little bit like some appear 'red' and some appear 'green.' They are all just
things arising/happening in Awareness. You, the 'big You' are that Awareness,
already free, already peaceful, already infinite. You don't need to do anything,
or get rid of anything to be who and what you are. You need only let go of the
thoughts, 'I am not happy, I am not free, I am not peaceful." And the rest is
already and always there!
Friday September 16, 2005
The Way We Were
of the benefits of knowing (or playing with) Sanskrit, is the wealth of
beautiful and profound writings that are available there. Around the time I met
my Sanskrit teacher, he taught me one of the most beautiful verses I have ever
heard, and it still deeply affects me every time I think of it:
Yuyam vayam vayam yuyam (You are
we...We are you)
Ityasin matir avayoh
(Thus was the mind of us)
jatam adhuna yena
(What has happened now by which)
Yuyam yuyam vayam vayam
(You are you and we are we)
"You are we and we are you; this was our mutually shared understanding and
vision. What has happened now, though, by which we are separate and you are you
and I am I?"
are all one. This is not a theoretical proposition, but a reality, and many
believe that this was much more commonly understood at one time, and may still
be among certain groups. It may also be the direction that we are moving toward
again. As one awakens to truth, this recognition becomes more and more clear,
and subsequently a certain amount of pain is actually felt that this isn't the
commonly perceived reality. It is this individualized mind/ego, this
divisiveness that causes all the suffering, and the heart aches to see it.
Fortunately, there is also a certain amount of detachment as well. But it is
this aspect of awakening that initiates the compassionate need of those who
teach. Unlike many others, teaching, for those who have reached a certain level
of awakening, is not from ego, not from mind, but from the level of experiencing
the suffering caused by this divisiveness, and feeling a need to assist others.
Not all people who awaken experience this, but in our own case, and many other
teachers I know, this becomes achingly clear.
Each time I sing this verse (which has a beautiful melody),
the heart opens a little more. Some may argue that this isn't very Advaitic, but
that's okay. Feel it anyway. The heart is one as well, and the more we
experience that, the more everyone will come into this pure non-duality which
includes not only the Being (sat) or the Awareness (cit), but the Bliss and
Sweetness (ananda) as well.
Wednesday September 7, 2005
Just Do It!
the Neo-advaitic circles, it is popular to talk about 'choicelessness' or
that there is no choice. This may be the recognition that arises ultimately -
that there is no choice, and that it appears that everything is
pre-determined...every motion, every thought, every everything. However, that
leaves one in something of a dilemma. It leaves them, often, like a spineless
jellyfish, flopping around and unable to do anything. Even if it is the
realization in the end, that when you get to the end of the road, you realize
that the road didn't really go anywhere, and that you were always That, and that
everything ends up exactly where you are now....still, there is one big
difference: Virtually everyone who ends up 'there,' worked their ass off to get
there. Find that awakened person who, on some level, didn't sit for years,
inquire for years, meditate for years, or even just sat at the feet of some
awakened teacher, or did something where their intention and their mind
was focused on awakening.
Yoga Vasishtha says that there are two karmas or actions - that from the past
and that from the present, and that the second is more powerful than the first.
In other words, no matter what your present circumstances are (due to the
accumulation of past actions or karmas) they can be overcome by your present
actions. Yes, it takes a great amount of will, or intention, or effort - because
essentially you are breaking through your patterns, your gunas, your
conditioning, but only you can do it. Ramana Maharshi says, "Effortless &
choiceless awareness is our real nature. If we can attain that state and abide
in it, that is all right. But one cannot reach it without effort, the effort of
deliberate meditation. All the age old vasanas (inherent tendencies) turn the
mind outward to external objects. All such thoughts have to be given up and the
mind turned inwards and that, for most people, requires effort." So it appears
to be a paradox: Choiceless awareness is our real nature, and yet, to get there
requires effort. Nothing is achieved without effort, and every heart warming,
inspiration story tells us of someone who achieved great things through effort,
sometimes almost superhuman effort.
bottom line is that if you don't like the way things are going, make an effort
to change it. It may or may not work, as the outcome may also be predetermined,
but it sure isn't going to change if something (i.e. you) don't change. The old
definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing and expecting different
results.' So in what ways are you insane, doing the same things, bitching about
them, and expecting something to be different? If you want to wake up, struggle
to wake up. If you want anything to be different, then the idea is arising to
change. Do it! That is what is arising. Go with that flow to change. Don't hold
on to old patterns, or allow yourself to remain stagnant. Go, open, move, flow,
surrender, expand, explode. Do something! Just do it!
Friday September 2, 2005
There Is No Goal-Line
(mind) wants to achieve. Particularly in the West, there is an idea of
achievement - that when I have attained 'this or that' I will have 'gotten
there!' The recognition of truth has become such an achievement. It is the
ego, mind, identification which wants to 'achieve' enlightenment - to be
'There', to be 'done'. But, there is no such thing. There is no 'Done' or
ultimate end. There is movement and non-movement. There is the Absolute (or
whatever you want to call it) in both stillness and movement. There is deeper
recognition and there is dis-identifying with the limited. We may or may not
exist as localized individuality. Most people identify as being localized
persons. Some of us less so or not at all. (Yes, I am aware of the inherent
problems in languaging all this.) But there is no great goal-line. People have
made enlightenment or awakening as the final big achievement, as in 'When I get
there, I will be done, and have achieved the ultimate!'
Bull-Puckey! Yes, the big questions are done; there is minimal internal
conflict; there is a recognition of pure, non-dual awareness and that That is
what one is. But it's also like flowing down the river and into the Sea. The
limitation has stopped, but not necessarily the flowing. It's like somebody
spend their life wanting to go to India. They travel by train, plane and
automobile, working hard, suffering and enjoying the trials and tribulations of
the journey, get to the border where the border guard stamps their passport and
then, "Wow! I made it. I'm in India. I'm THERE!" And their journey stops. They
haven't seen a single beggar, temple, sadhu, or open sewer system. They haven't
smelled the ghee, chai, incense, burning plastic, or the shit. They haven't
tasted a single samosa, idli, or lassi. But they 'got there.'
Enlightenment is not the end-zone; it's the beginning-zone. It is the doorway
into the Real. It is the recognition of Consciousness and beyond. But it is also
a natural process of the evolution of the Awakening Field of Consciousness which
is what the All is. When you reach puberty, you don't say, "I made it," and
stop. Life goes on. When you reach menopause, you don't say "I made it," and
stop. Life goes on. When you wake up to Self as Infinite Being...well, yes, part
of the old you stops, but Life doesn't; existence doesn't. The show continues.
You-ness goes on.
Part of the problems is that the very ideas of Enlightenment, Awakening, Nirvana
and so forth create a limited concept. They create a whole new construct or
belief system that the ego-I can strive to achieve, moving the box of
limitations into a new realm.
suggestion: Give up all the concepts of enlightenment. In a very real sense,
there is no such thing. Have the underlying intention to move toward / Be / KNOW
Truth; inquire into Truth and what the 'I' is, recognizing it's flimsiness and
un-reality; and see what you hold onto to that isn't true. Fill yourself with
this intention. Be this intention. Then let go of all other identifications.
Fall into the Reality of What Is in the moment, and you will see that you have
always been in the end-zone.
also suggest you click on and read the 'About Aja' page which I have changed.
I've tried to reflect his perspective there as well.
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